As I said last week I would fill you in on our Splurge night at bingo. On 22nd Street. Yes, we went to the depths of the alphabet soup, the ghetto, for a night of bingo and lived to tell about it. We should just take a moment to celebrate that fact.Many, many things were learned Saturday night. Lesson #1: if you want to play bingo at City Centre (the one near the Great Buffet of China) you have to be there and ready to play by 7:00pm. If you are late you either have to wait for the 9:30pm game or you have to go to Lucky Bucks for their drop-in bingo. So we went to Lucky Bucks.
Lesson #2: The minimum amount of cards you can play "regular play" with is 6. Unless it's a speedo, bonanza or some other specialty game. If you want to buy more cards you are welcome to but let me tell you those numbers are coming at you hard and fast.
Lesson #3: Make friends with the lady selling the cards. Thank god for that sweet lady or we would have had even less of an idea of what was going on than we already did.
Lesson #4: Make sure you know what type of pattern they're looking for before you call bingo. The serious bingo players get mad if you call a bingo for a line when it was really supposed to be a roaming bow tie.
Lesson #5: You have to call out bingo as soon as you get it, before the caller calls the next number. Regular bingo players will also get mad at you if you do this and stop the game on them.. again.
Lesson #6: No visiting. Think of it like some sort of weird, smelly library. If you think you're going to be a bingo newb and chat it up with your buds at the same time while you're playing, you're wrong. 100% focus is required to scan the cards for the number called all while checking to see if you have a bingo. Things got so intense that someone could have come into the place with a gun and we may not have noticed unless the caller quit calling out numbers.
Lesson #7: Bingo is not cheap. That place took my money, put me through the wringer and kicked my ass out the door with a headache and blurred vision. I felt like I had been on a weekend bender and I hadn't even had a drink. I needed a 12 hour sleep after that bingo-a-thon.
Lesson #8: There is some skill required. Apparently I have none. This is not just a game of chance people! Don't let them fool you.
Lesson #9: Don't sit by anyone that looks like they've had too much to drink. They may end up almost knocking you off your chair while you're in a dabbing frenzy.
Lesson #10: Never leave a man behind. To get out of there alive make sure you always stick together in groups. Just like on The Hangover we were like a wolf pack of 9 girls running around the 22nd Street bingo.
As I stumbled out of Lucky Bucks with bingo dabber running down my arms I came to the conclusion that bingo just isn't my sport. A few of the girls are considering making careers out of it but I think I better just stick with what I've already got going on.
