Curtis, it's your birthday. Happy birthday, Curtis!

Anyone who knows me knows I looooove birthdays (especially my own, of course).  And there is nothing that gives me greater joy than throwing someone a kick-ass party. 

For the last couple weeks myself and a group of friends have been scheming to throw my better-half, Curtis, his very first ever birthday party.  Thankfully since he works away every second week the chance for someone spoiling the surprise was cut in half.  I have never organized a surprise party myself but there was numerous times I had to stop myself from blurting out something party related (I just get so damn excited!).  I will share a few of the things that I have learned from this experience:

1. If you are planning an obnoxiously loud party make sure you invite everyone that surrounds you that you're worried about annoying.  We like some of our neighbors so obviously to avoid pissing them off/a noise complaint we added them to the guest list!

2. The party hasn't truly begun until someone pees on the carpet.  In this instance it was our new puppy, Gracie, but still I'll count it.

3. It does not matter how much food you make, it will never be enough.  25 people demolished 40 burgers, 36 buns, toppings, veggie platters, salads, chips, cupcakes.. and we still had to order 2 extra-large pizzas later that evening.  The only complaint we heard at that point, "You only ordered TWO pizzas?!".  I know better for next time.

4. Once guests start passing out the party is officially starting to wind-down.  The only concern the birthday boy had the next day was whether or not he outlasted the 2 year old toddler that was in attendance at the party.  Thankfully he did, but not by much.

5. Shooters always make a party better.  Whether it be a wedding shower, stagette, baby shower or birthday you can always guarantee that the party will be bumpin' after a few rounds of tequila and jag bombs.

6. Giving alcohol to people competing on a rented, blow-up Gladiator Joust can make them slightly
aggressive.  Definitely still rent it for the party, just ensure you have made all the required safety precautions prior to this.

7. You can max your deck out to almost full capacity.  If you're going to pile a whole bunch of people onto your deck make sure you constantly monitor the weight to deck ratio as to not have any major incidents.

8.  Wing World may ban you from ordering from there if you text them "Fries and gravy.  Stat lets go f*ck." 

9. If the birthday boy wakes up and is still drunk for the remainder of the morning you know the party was a success.

The empties have been recycled, the garbage taken out.. the only remnants of the party we had on Saturday is the fact that Apollo Jump still hasn't come to pick up the Gladiator Joust that's in our backyard.  If it's still there after work then I'm going to go round 2 on that thing and whoop Curtis' ass! 

Shopping for labels, shopping for love

Our fabulous friends Brett and Jenna recently got engaged this spring and now it was time to start the much anticipated wedding dress shopping.  We packed up the car for a 3-day mega shopathon in Edmonton.  Jenna had made and printed out our itinerary to include 8 dress shops around the city with the addresses, a list of dresses she would like to see, the appointment times and what time we would need to leave our current location to arrive on time for the next appointment.  I guess you could say she is kind of an organized person?

We hit our first stop, Shmavid's Bridal (*some names may have been changed for privacy), all fired up on a full night's rest and a tummy stuffed with a hearty breakfast.  We knew hunger and fatigue could lead to some very hangry girls and snap decisions - neither could be tolerated.  We left the first store empty handed and with only one piece of advice in mind for the staff there - if you would like someone to spend thousands of dollars on a dress, at the very least pretend like you're interested.

If you are ever in Edmonton looking for a wedding dress be sure to stop in at Delica Bridal.  The store was beautiful and their selection of gowns were hand picked by the owners.  Jenna left that store with 3 amazing dresses lingering on her mind.  I knew we would be back there to say yes to the dress, but being the quiet, reserved friend that I am I kept my opinion to myself ;)

We hit up two more stores after that.  One that was pretty dumpy - we knew no good was to come of it - and then the last one, Pure, which was very nice.  Unfortunately, by this point we had looked at so many dress that thoughts of lace and tulle and chiffon were swimming through our brains and we couldn't even think straight when we were in there.  We left exhausted but decided to get to bed early and go to 3 more stores in West Edmonton Mall the next day to continue our search for "the one".


Day two we hit up the mall with an entourage of ladies.  Jenna had her mother, Betty Anne, her
mother-in-law to be, Laurie, her sister-in-law to be, Mandy, her friend, Erin, and her two bridesmaids, myself and Krista, in tow.  We saw the same ho-hum dresses there that didn't turn our crank the day before.  Jenna kept comparing everything she put on to the dresses she liked from Delica.

In one of the stores we witnessed a scene straight out of TLC's Say Yes To The Dress.  The bride in the change-room beside us had found THE one.  Her, her mother and her bridesmaids all cried as she glow-fully paraded around the store with a huge smile on her face.  As she took the dress off she noticed the price tag.  Not only had the sales clerk dismissed her budget, this dress was twice what she wanted to spend.  Tensions rose between her and her bridesmaids as they tried to convince her to get it anyways.  At one point we overheard them say, "You can afford it, your boyfriend makes mad stacks!"  Not shockingly that set the bride, and her mother off.  Bickering ensued amongst the group and they left in a huff.

We finished our shopping, empty handed, and as we were leaving we spotted the same crew back at the bridal store purchasing her dress.  I guess she decided her boyfriend had enough "mad stacks" that they could afford it now.

As you would guess we made our way back to Delica.  Jenna tried on her trio of amazingness and everyone clapped and cheered as she said yes to the one she was going to be wearing on her big day.  Believe it or not dress stores only offer you champagne if you actually buy a dress, not just if you're shopping for one.  Weird, huh?  Bottles were popped, the credit card was swiped and we were on our way.

Below I have included a photo of our group at Delica with Jenna in her dress.  What?  You didn't think I was actually going to let you see what her dress looked like before the big day, did you?  Guess you'll have to wait until July!

Well, the race is on and here comes pride up the backstretch

Consider my horse-races cherry popped!  Saturday night my Splurge group strutted their stuff into Marquis Downs to place bids on some fine equestrian breeds, and learn a thing or two about the art of gambling.  After we dodged all the stray horse sh*t that had made its way out into the parking lot we felt luck was on our side. 

Walking into the majestic track we thought we were at the Kentucky Derby.  Surrounded by women in large hats of all sorts we wondered if we were under-dressed for the occasion.  It turned out that coincidentally both a stagette and a going-away party had both decided that the largest, floppiest beach hats were just the appropriate attire for their groups and we were just lame, costume-less spectators. 

I would not consider myself a gambler whatsoever.  I think it results in the fact that I'm too cheap to potentially lose money that I could otherwise be spending shopping.  I had been to Vegas 3 times before I had even so much as put more than a dollar in the slot machine. 

I decided that in the spirit of things I would place some bets.  My style of gambling there was based strictly on funny horse names.  Giveyourheadashake and Mygallovesgold were obvious choices.  With a minimum $2 bet I really stepped up my game putting down $3, and at one point even wagering $4.  I was on a gambling high!  The drinks were flowing and I had put down a total of $20 throughout 6 races.  I now knew how Ben Campbell felt in the movie 21 as I yelled "Winner, winner, chicken dinner!" at the top of my lungs as my winning bets crossed the finish line.  Thoughts of Quinella, Show and Place (I had no idea what any of these terms meant but I wanted to do them all!) swarmed through my head as I searched through the program to find my next lucky filly.

As the 9th race came to an end I took my tickets to the cashier to find out what my winnings had accumulated to.  $11.80.  Yup, you could say I'm pretty much a professional gambler now.  Don't be surprised if you find me there on my lunch break sporting a visor and making deals with the bookies so I don't lose the house.  Sadly, I only got my taste of the races at the very end of the season.  I guess that means I can take the winter to practice smoking menthol cigarettes and coining the term "Marquis, baby, Marquis!".   

Turn around, stick it out, show the world you got a bubble butt

This past weekend Synergy Strength held one of largest local CrossFit competitions in Canada with almost 300 competitors.  For the past two years I have tried to attend as many of these competitions as possible including ones in Saskatoon, Regina and Lloydminster.  Now don't get me wrong, I'm no beast of epic proportions but I do enjoy hangin' out with my fit friends and sharing a weekend of PR bliss with them.  This year I decided to give back to the community and volunteer my time as a judge at the event.  In watching all my beastly buds kick butt this weekend it caused me to reflect on some of the do's and don'ts one should consider before taking on their first (or next) CrossFit competition.

Do let the organizing staff know if you are unable to attend the competition prior to the event.  Unless it is a last minute emergency you can send them a quick email letting them know.  Heat times and leader boards are set up based on registration so be considerate and give them the heads up.

Don't experiment with your caffeine tolerance level the day of the competition.  At minimum you may risk feeling like your face is going to fall off or your heart may explode.. or at worst sh*tting your pants in front of an entire crowd of people.

Do pack a cooler with food to keep you energized for the weekend.  You probably won't eat a whole bunch while you're there but it's nice to know that if you're hungry you won't have to racoon through other people's lunch kits when they're not looking.

Don't be a Betty Bragger or a Debbie Downer.  Be humble, happy, appreciative and excited for others.  There's no point in pissing people off with your bad attitude.  And besides, it's really hard to work out to your best ability knowing that people would like to throat punch you.

Do double check that you have all of your work out gear.  Not only does it rattle your cage when you don't have your sexiest oly lifting belt to smash the hang clean ladder with, it's also a little hard when you have to borrow a pair of someone's sweaty, oversized Nanos to run your fastest 150 meter sprint in.

Don't rely on others to tell you what time your heat is.  Check the schedule, watch the clock, get warmed up and be prepared for your next event.  There's nothing worse than racing out to find your one rep max snatch while trying to get your shoes tied up without having touched a barbell all day.  Or missing your event altogether.  Be on time, you're an adult - I have faith in you that you can handle at least that much. 

Do have fun.  It's not the CrossFit Games, it's a local competition run by volunteers and it is meant to be fun for everyone.  Don't take yourself so seriously that you ruin the experience for yourself or for others.  It's not going to make you any more fit by making someone feel like crap because you were an a$$hole to them.

I hope everyone enjoyed their time spent at the 2013 Bridge City Beatdown this year.  I know that by taking the time to volunteer this year that I am already ready to go and have the time of my life next year! 

Yours in CrossFit,
Ashlyn 

It's a nice day for a white wedding

As summer comes to an end so does wedding season.  This past weekend was spent at the nuptials of Curtis' cousin, James.  Curtis had the honour of standing up for James (and might I add looked pretty darn good all spiffed up).  It was a beautiful day and the boys got to spend it sweating away in their tuxes in the hot September sun.

I've been to a wedding or two in my day and have comprised a list of things I enjoy:

1. Short ceremonies and short speeches.  Don't get me wrong, I enjoy partaking in all of these things.. just especially if they have been kept to a minimum.

2. Cheap booze.  I loooove getting my drink on for a toonie (or less!).  This leads me into #3...

3. A bar stocked with shooters.  If you have shooters at your wedding then you are speaking my language.

4. A kick-ass midnight lunch.  If I can't remember what was served at the midnight lunch the next day then it was probably pretty meat-buns-salad generic.  Either that or I had too many cocktails the night before.

5. A DJ that takes all my requests or a band that surrenders one of their microphones to me.  It's easier if they just give in otherwise I will end up hounding them for the rest of the night.

6. A great bathroom toiletries basket.  I'll admit it, I'm kind of a wedding basket kleptomaniac.  I will take the gum, bobby pins, Tide-To-Go pen and stuff it in my purse.  Why?  I have no idea.  But now you know where all of the items went at the end of the night if I was ever invited to your wedding.

7. An edible party favour.  If it is not edible and I take one home with me at the end of the night I am probably just going to throw it in the garbage.  Just saying.

8. Some sort of additional entertainment for the guests.  I've been to a wedding where there was a balloon man, a shotski, a faux Chippendales dancer and each one of these occasions blew my mind.

9. Slideshows.  Some people hate them, I personally love them.  Even if I don't know you all that well I wants to bask in your photo history gloriousness.  I want to see photos of you as a baby, that stage you went through with that weird haircut and a picture from the first time you met your spouse.  I want to see it all!

10. People who won't judge if I need to kick my shoes off to get my groove on or have a basket of flip-flops for guests with sore feet.  If you are so classy that you frown upon this then we probably aren't friends anyways so you won't have to worry about me embarrassing you on your special day.

Someday when I tie the knot you guys can come back to this list and reflect on it and see if my wedding matched up to my expectations.  Oh.. and feel free to hold me to this :-)