She made us drinks to drink, we drunk 'em, got drunk

I read a fairly not-so-common sense article in the Saskatoon StarPhoenix a couple days ago called
Waiters' top 20 ways to not be a horrible restaurant customer.  I served and bartended for 8 years so there were many points in the column that I could relate to.  I worked mainly in bars and pubs but did serve a bit of food so that's why I thought I could share some of my top ways not to be a douchey customer as well.

1. Don't steal.  Ducking out on your tab, sneaking shots off the shooter tray and dipping your hand into the bartender's tip jar are all forms of criminal misdemeanours and can be punishable by law.  Received crappy service because the server was lazy or the restaurant was too busy to keep up to everyone?  Complain to management.  Trying to ditch out to look sweet?  Do you know what doesn't look sweet?  When I chase you down the alley and make you pay twice as much as you would have if you would have just been honest like a regular person.  I may run slower than a herd of sloths stampeding through Nutella on a regular day but when you dangle a $100 tab that's going to come out of my pocket over my head, you might as well call me Lighting McQueen.  You're laughing right now but this has actually happened.  I can also add that during my very long stint at a local country and western tavern I watched a customer walk away in only her bra after trying to steal from the shooter girl.  It's really not worth it.

2. Don't talk down to your server.  What is it that makes people think they are so much better than their servers?  Some of these people own businesses, are the future's doctors and lawyers.. and some just serve.  Either way nothing makes you more important than they are.  It is unnecessary to be ignorant or talk to them like they are complete idiots.  Believe it or not they know the odd thing or two, too.

3. Not every server wants to jump your bones.  Your sauve sophisticatedness does not just magically appear after multiple cocktails.  Chances are they do not want your phone number and will probably just make fun of you back by the glass washer for your feeble attempt once you have vacated the building. Save yourself the embarrassment and just don't.  Simple words to live by, you can quote me if you like: "just don't".  It's pretty much the exact opposite of Nike's ad campaigns, perhaps that will help you remember.  You want to know what else is a criminal offence?  Sexual assault.  There is a wide range of things that fit under sexual assault but let's keep it simple and just say DON'T TOUCH YOUR SERVER.  In any way.  Ever.  Keep your creep comments to yourself as well.  Just because you're thinking it doesn't mean you have to say it.  Use your filter - if you are in a bar it is because the government has deemed you mature enough to be there so do us all a favour and act like it :-)

4. Be understanding.  People make mistakes so if your server brings you the wrong drink or forgets something, it is not the end of the world.  Heaven forbid you were brought regular soda when you ordered diet.  Guess what?  They can bring you a different one.  Problem solved... hooray!  There are children starving in Africa.. now that's an actual problem.

5. The inevitable tip about tipping.  I'm not going to drone on about not being a tight-ass but I am going to say that tipping servers in our country is customary.  Don't ask me why but it is.  If you don't like tipping perhaps drive-thrus are more your style.  And no, I don't know why tipping EVERY service in every industry isn't customary, I just know that this one is.  Get bad service?  Leave a bad tip.  Get great service?  Leave a tip that expresses that.  Pretty simple rules to live by like it or not.  Don't like tipping in a restaurant or bar?  Countries like Australia don't customarily tip their servers, perhaps a place like that is better suited for you.  You also may say "No one tips me at work."  That's a shame, maybe you should make a career change.  You might wonder "Why do you deserve to be tipped?".  Did you read point #1?  People in the service industry deal with shitty things!  Those are actual things that happened and they suck.  Oh and buying someone a shooter is not a tip FYI.

I know that not everyone will agree with what I'm saying but I also know that you can quit reading at any time.  I wouldn't say working in the service industry was the best time I've ever had but it's one of those things I'm glad I did.  If I decided to pick up and move I always know I can make some alright money serving or bartending somewhere.  Even if you hated everything about this post I hope you took at least one thing away from it or even giggled just a little.  "Here's to you and here's to me.  The best of friends we'll ever be.  But if we ever disagree then f@#k you and here's to me!"  Cheers everyone!

Some kind of madness is swallowing me whole

I've recently read two amazing blog posts/articles by a couple of influential members of the CrossFit community: one titled CrossFit Curmudgeon Cares by Pat Sherwood and another titled Training CrossFit vs. CrossFit as a Sport by Chris Spealler. This past summer I struggled with where I fit into CrossFit and these two blogs helped put it into perspective for me. I started my journey from not knowing what the heck CrossFit was, to being obsessed with it and wanting to try to be a bit more competitive to wondering if there was even a place for me still. I was agonizing over the fact that if I couldn't be competitive with it, should I even be doing it? But why was I getting so stressed out over a fitness program?   

My first debut on crossfitbrio.com in the
Spring of 2011 doing 55 lb back squats.

I have been doing CrossFit for almost 3 years now. In January of 2011 Curtis and I both knew it was time to get our acts together and get back on the fitness train (typical New Years resolution, right?). A Groupon came up for CrossFit BRIO which we had seen a sign for and always wondered what it was. We took the plunge and bought a $50 Groupon that entitled us to 3 introductory classes and an unlimited month of CrossFit classes. What was the first thing I did after I bought the Groupon you ask? I Googled "What is CrossFit". The first video (click here to watch it) that came up was of two CrossFit athletes, Dutch Lowy and Jessica Langford, doing a workout called 'Helen'. Helen consists of a 400m run, 21 kettlebell swings (35lbs) and 12 pull-ups done 3 times as quickly as you can (which is actually one of my favourite workouts now). I hadn't run 400m since I was in track 10 years before that, and I think even at that time I barfed at the finish line. I DEFINITELY could not do a pull-up... and embarrassingly I didn't even know what a kettlebell was. Good god I was out of shape. I had never heard of this style of training and after watching the video I wondered if I had just wasted $50.


My first attempt at handstand
push-ups in December 2011.

I don't even know if Curtis knows this but I was super nervous when I booked our introductory 

20" box jumps for the CrossFit Open in March 2012.

classes with the owners of CrossFit BRIO so I booked him in for his and booked mine a couple days later so I could get the low-down before I went. I don't remember a whole lot from those intro classes (or on-ramps as they're called) except that the coach made us scale all of the movements back so much. It was a small group class at that time and he had all of us doing push-ups from our knees up against the side of a bench, squats until our butt touched a medicine ball, etc. We did these exercises for 20 seconds and then we would rest for 10 seconds for 4 rounds each (I would later learn that this time structure is called Tabata). When I left the building I felt ok; no wanting to barf, not too sore. I would even go as far as to say the workout seemed relatively easy.  They tell each of their newbies to keep their intensity level at about a 3 out of 10 when first starting so I went home feeling slightly skeptical of the training we were going to be doing in the month to come. 

35 lb kettlebell swings at the Spring Fling
competition in Regina May 2012.

I woke up the next day and I was sore as hell.  In the days to come sitting down on the toilet and 

115 lb snatch at the Spring Fling competition in Regina May 2012

walking down the stairs were a challenge. My skepticism of the program drastically changed within days. (And no, I did not have rhabdo. If I see another goddamn post about rhabdo from people who have no idea what they're talking about my head may explode.) After I completed my on-ramps I did about 10 classes during that first month and then signed up for a 2x per week CrossFit membership. It seemed expensive at the time but I knew it was working from the way my muscles were responding to the training. Eventually my 2x per week membership turned into a 3x per week membership which eventually turned into an unlimited monthly membership. Not only was I enjoying the workouts and the results I was getting from them but I was meeting some really awesome people and even making some close friends. I didn't really have an 'ah-ha!" moment, I just kept enjoying the program more and more until I was in the gym obsessively.

Doing pull-ups during the hero WOD 'Murph'
with a weight vest on in July 2012.

14' rope climbs in August 2012.

On a side note, people always wonder why CrossFit peeps go so mental over it: A) You're doing things you never thought possible; B) People are cheering you on like a rockstar over all your personal bests; C) The people you're working out with genuinely care about you; and D) You get to have muscles! I get that we're annoying. We talk about it, post statuses on Facebook, take pictures on Instagram, tweet it on Twitter... it gets in our heads. People tend to post things on social media that they spend a lot of their time doing or are proud of whether it be their kids, dogs, parties, selfies, whatever. We just happen to spend a lot of time doing CrossFit.. it could be worse!

I learned terminology and movements that I had never heard before and I started to learn my way around the gym and gained a little bit of confidence. I've used words like traps, lats and hammies more in the last few years than I have in my whole life. I had outgrown the 15 lb beginner bar and graduated to the pimpin' 35 lb 'big girl' bar. I started using the 14 lb wallball, did push-ups from my toes and even had my first encounter with a 24" box jump. After a couple of unlimited months of classes (about 6 months since my on-ramps) I finally got my first unassisted pull-up! Pull-ups are like a beginner CrossFitter's unicorn. Writing my name on the 'Chicks Who Chin' list was super exciting for me, I felt like a total badass. Gradually I even got to finally start Rx'ing some workouts (doing the workout exactly as it was meant to be done without needing to scale back any of the movements). My cardio and endurance still faltered but it was getting better and I was getting stronger and loved getting my hands on anything barbell related.  I was starting to look less like a fat kid chasing chocolate cake and people noticed - it felt great. This year I even did a 5km run without stopping to walk.  Way to not be totally atrocious, lungs!


155 lb power cleans x5 at the Bridge City
Beatdown in Saskatoon September 2012.

Just over a year after I committed myself to the sport I decided to take the CrossFit Level 1 certification. I was given an amazing opportunity to start my CrossFit coaching career doing bootcamp workouts for the place that all started it for me, CrossFit BRIO. About 6 months later I eased my way into coaching regular classes in the gym and can now be found there regularly on Wednesday and Sunday nights. I've never been short on words and I love teaching the athletes new movements and watching them do things they never thought possible. Who knew that the out-of-shape 27 year old that had meekly Googled CrossFit would turn out to be so crazy over it?!

I've had my ups and downs throughout my journey; from wanting to be slightly competitive, to getting injured due to my own stupidity, to wondering if CrossFit was the right fitness program for me. If you read the two articles I mentioned at the start of this post, I can say that I fit somewhere between doing it for fitness purposes to wanting to compete in local competitions for fun with no pressure. I like the varying programming that is offered to help me stay healthy and strong.  I can come in, participate in an hour-long class and not feel stressed out if I don't have time to stay and work on my handstand push-ups or if I have to miss a workout because something came up. I don't work out everyday but I still try to commit to 4 or 5 times a week.  I still like doing my best during workouts and although I may not be one of the beefiest beefcakes around the gym I can still make the athletes I coach proud by occasionally doing something inspiring or lifting something really heavy. I can continue to expand my knowledge on the sport and pass that along to the people that are interested in coming to one of my classes. It's not as intimidating as a lot of people think.  I started out weak, with horrible cardio and some extra inches to lose. Over the years I've worked my way up so when I hear people say "I can't come to a class and work out with you, I'm so out of shape", they now know how I feel when I have to work out next to people that are mega CrossFit beasts. Everyone starts somewhere and who knows, you may even like it? Or you may not, and that's ok too. Whatever it is that you do that keeps you healthy and happy has my stamp of approval. Taking control of my fitness through CrossFit was the first step in a lifelong commitment to my health. And hey.. not feeling absolutely horrible in a bathing suit doesn't hurt either.

Spring Fling competition in Regina June 2013.

Me and my gang

Some things are better late than never, right?  It has been out-of-control busy lately and this was the first opportunity I had to sit down and pound out my musings.  This past long weekend I had planned for a fun-filled whirlwind of activities but then I got a wicked bad cold.  I did manage to still make it out to the S3 event with my Splurge girls on Saturday night, however.  The style, shopping and spirits event was held at TCU and I will say it was very well organized and we had a ton of fun but I don't think there were enough antics and shenanigans to base an entire blog post on.  Our girls night out got me thinking about girls and their friends.  I can say that I am a girl's girl.  I spend quite a bit of time with my female companions and I enjoy every minute of it. 

Growing up in a small town where I was primarily surrounded by dudes (we fondly referred to Imperial as Guytown, Saskatchewan) I never had a shortage of boyfriends, girls were another story.  I had a small group of local ladies but I had to expand to the other nearby small towns to get my full fix of estrogen.  This is what leads me to wonder about those girls who say that they get along better with guys than girls.  First of all, you are a girl.  No one understands you better than other girls.  If it's attention that you're looking for then I totally get why you would want to surround yourself with a gaggle of ogling testosterone driven men who have one thing on their mind.  Of course they are going to make you feel important... they have one thing on their brain and that is clearly your lady parts.  Now you're thinking "No way. When my boyfriend dumped me my guy friend was totally there for me."  Is your guy friend gay?  No?  Ok, well then see my previous statement about your lady parts.

There are two kinds of girls and their girlfriends.  The ones who have their core group of besties that they've had since forever in which it would take an army of highly trained snipers to make their way into that group.  They might let you hang out with their crew from time to time but there is no way that you are making it into their iMessage group chat unless there is a big party coming up that they need your help planning for.  Just face it, unless you are the Messiah you are not going to be asked to be a bridesmaid in any of their weddings.

The second kind of girl is the one who has lots of different groups of girlfriends.  This is the group that I fall into.  I have my back-home besties, my city besties and my gym besties.  Keeping in touch with all of these people is almost like a second job but I love being around all of them.  I always have someone to talk to, to hang out with and to send the most bizarre Snapchats to.  Narrowing this group of girls down to a handful of bridesmaids when I get married will be hard unless I want to roll 27 Dresses style.  Each one plays a significant role in my life and even if I fall off track with someone for a bit, the next time I see them or talk to them it's like we've never spent any time apart. 

People get busy with life and go through different stages at different times but I truly feel that making time for your friends is important.  There is no one certainty in life so if you have invested all of your time into your boyfriend or relied 100% on the companionship of your husband, what happens if that significant other isn't always there?  Keep in touch with your girls.  It doesn't have to be daily but don't forget that these are the people that have continued to be your bud through your best, and worst, times.

I've included some pictures of some of the girls who play such a huge part in my life and who I know I can count on if I ever need them.  If you read this and think of someone you haven't talked to in a while then send them a message, a text, an email... whatever it is don't let these people slip out of your life.

El Dia de Los Muertos

The Day of the Dead is a Mexican holiday celebrated on November 1st to pray and remember family members who have died.  At least that's what Wikipedia told me.  About a month ago my good bud, Mathew 'Sometimes-You-Just-Gotta-Isolate-A-Muscle' Hamoline, asked if I wanted to do the Day of the Dead Run with him.  He looooves to run...  and I do not.  But being the good friend that I am I agreed to the task and challenged some of my other peeps to do the same.  So many people were gung-ho to hit the slopes of Blackstrap with their running shoes, however, only Jesse actually went and registered to run with us.

A few days before the race we managed to snag our other running bud, Courtney, to get on board as well as her partner in crime, Morgan.  The thought of the crisp winter air must have scared Matt off since he ditched last minute, but he's kind of a pansy like that.  Just kidding, he ended up having to work instead.

Did I mention that this run takes place at night, running uphill?  Friday night we headed out to Blackstrap bundled up in the warmest of winter running gear to take on Mount Everest.  I mean Blackstrap.  We arrived at the starting point at 6:30p.m. and it was already trip-and-fall-worthy dark out.  I am a klutz at the best of times so dodging in and out of the trees up a hill at night is like a death sentence for someone like myself.  Or at least a recipe for a sprained ankle.

A couple months ago I had started running with our new puppy.  Coincidentally at the same time I also started having severe knee pain.  For some crazy reason I chalked it up to improper squatting, laid off the squats for a while and tried adding even more running into my regime.  It wasn't until a few weeks ago Jesse was watching me run and noticed that our bouncy pup was torqueing the bejeezus out of my knee every time I took a step.  I always knew running was bad for my health (I'm just kidding all you running enthusiasts, but seriously running with a larger dog that hasn't had much for leash training is a BAD idea!).  I've since ditched the running and am working back to my old one rep max back squat of 225 pounds.

With my banged up knee we headed out to do our 5km but I knew it wouldn't be easy.  Jesse ran with me and didn't even get annoyed when I had to slow right down for all the sharp inclines and declines.  However, he did scold me for repeatedly swearing while my knee was taking a particularly bad beating during one part of the course.  Apparently runners don't swear as much as CrossFitters do?  And by CrossFitters I mean just me.

The other nice thing about following Jesse through the trails was that he managed to trip over all of the hidden roots and stumps along the path so I knew exactly where they were and could avoid them.  Such a kind, thoughtful man that Jesse Dziad is.

The weather was MUCH nicer than it had been in the past years and I was clearly overdressed.  About 500 meters into the run I was already stripping off my jackets, gloves and toque.  Surprisingly your headlamp doesn't stay on very well with a sweaty forehead and no headwear.  As a result I have a bruise on the bridge of my nose where it came down and smashed me in the face.  Keep that in mind if you ever have to run with a headlamp. 

At the end of the race they had the BBQ fired up for all the participants and had a huge feast spread out.  The $30 registration fee was well justified as we stuffed our pockets full of mini cupcakes and hot dogs and headed to soak our limbs in the Jorgensen hot tub time machine!